Birth

Birth is naturally the first major moment in a person’s individual and communal life. When a boy is born, a circumcision rite called a brit ("covenant," short for brit milah, "covenant of circumcision") can be expected eight days later. This ceremony, of great antiquity, confirms the transition of the infant from being a child of Adam, as it were, to a member of the Jewish people. Thus the boy enters the "covenant of Abraham." The minor operation is delegated by the father to a ritually trained surgeon, called mohel. The mohel receives the child after he has been passed among the relatives, beginning with the mother (in a separate room; she is customarily secluded at this time). Just before the boy is given to the godfather (called sandek) to hold while the operation is performed according to the ancient procedure, the mohel temporarily places the child on a "chair of Elijah" symbolic of the hopes of redemption. After the actual circumcision, the child is handled to the father (or an honored guest) while the mohel recites blessings in praise of God and for the welfare of the child. It is then that the boy’s name is announced. The name (e.g. David son of Abraham) will be how the boy will be "called up" when he is honored to bless the Torah in later years, and this name will be marked on his tombstone at death. From antiquity some Jews have had double names, a Hebrew name and a related vernacular name (e.g., in Hellenistic times one might be Jonathan or Matthew and Theodore, names all meaning "gift of God") or names that could function in both the ritual and secular communities. Among Ashkenazi Jews, it is customary to name the boy after a deceased relative; Sephardis, however, do not adhere to this practice. A joyous moment in the circumcision ceremony is when the entire assembly exclaims: "Just as he has entered the covenant, so may he enter [the study of] Torah, the wedding canopy, and good deeds." Thus a life cycle is outlined, which all the adults confirm through their own lives.

The naming ceremony for a girl traditionally takes place in the synagogue during a subsequent Sabbath service, when her father is called up to the Torah. In recent times in more liberal contexts, the mother is involved in this occasion, and new rituals for the birth of a girl have been developed. One of the more popular designations for these ceremonies is simhat bat, joy [for the birth] of a daughter.

Religious Majority

The study of Torah traditionally begins quite early, for boys perhaps when they are three or four years old; and, according to custom, this event is inaugurated by having the child find and trace the letters of his name which are covered with honey. This act symbolizes the hopes for the sweetness of life devoted to Torah and the commandments. From youth, a boy will instructed in Hebrew and the traditional classics of Judaism, but he will not be a formal member of the halakhic community until he is thirteen years old. At that time he will become a bar mitzvah, literally a "son of the commandment(s)." He can then perform all the mitzvoth and is required to do so with full responsibility for his religious behavior. When the boy is first "called up" to the Torah, symbolic of his attainment of majority, the father utters a blessing commemorating this transition to adulthood.

A girl traditionally achieves majority at twelve years and a day, a time symbolic of the onset of menstruation, and is by then fully instructed in the intricacies of maintaining a ritually correct home, in the traditional rules of menstrual purity, and in some of the sacred texts. In recent times, girls are given fuller academic instruction in the traditional literature (though this varies by group) and in liberal contexts a bat mitzvah ceremony ("daughter of the commandment[s]") has been developed to mark the rite of passage. The degree to which this ceremony is part of the traditional service depends upon the strictness of the group. Some communities give a girl the same Torah ceremony as a boy; others only give her some ritual part in the Friday evening service; and still others limit this involvement of some celebratory action outside the framework of the halakha. There is naturally a high correlation between how a girl celebrates her majority status as a doer of mitzvoth and the role of women in a given ritual community. Strict traditionalists, concerned with the separation of these and the more minor ritual status of the female, will thus regard the moment as a female affair. Those groups that variously reject traditional rules about women (particularly matters of segregation in prayer, formal exclusion from the prayer quorum, and fewer required positive commandments) will correspondingly regard the moment of a girl’s majority as a more ritual event along the lines enjoyed by males. Nowadays, such matters are subject to local rabbinic-communal regulation, though the communities themselves feel subject to the authority of different rabbinical institutions and their rulings on these halakhic matters.

Marriage

For traditionalists and nontraditionalists alike, the wedding canopy is a major moment of personal and social transition. The male and female take their lace as productive communal citizens and fulfill the first mitzvah of the Torah: to "be fruitful and multiply." The wedding is thus the transition to the basic Jewish institution of the home and to responsibility for the welfare of the community. In earlier times and still in some ultratraditional circles, marriages are arranged among peer groups. In such traditional groups, a bridegroom will not see his bride until near or on the wedding day; though nowadays when marriages are generally affected by more romantic inclinations, and contact between groups is also more flexible, a period of acquaintance for the future couple is more common. Most modern traditionalists enjoy more flexible dating patterns, as do liberal Jews.

In Talmudic times, a stage of "betrothal" (kiddushin or erusin) preceded the "nuptials" (nisu’in) by some time period. The two stages were combined in the post-Talmudic period and are celebrated together in the present Jewish wedding marriage ceremony. This latter formally begins in the afternoon (the bridegroom and bride having separately returned form ritual ablutions, a traditional practice), when the ancient contract formulas are reviewed by the "Arranger of kiddushin" and the document (ketubbah) is signed by witnesses. This ketubbah is read at the ceremony itself, along with seven blessings extolling the beauty of creation and the joys of companionship. The male will customarily wear his white kittel and recite the traditional marriage formula ("You are betrothed to me, with this ring, in accordance with the laws of Moses and Israel"). In Ashkenazi ceremonies, the couple share wine and the groom breaks a glass. One explanation of this old custom is that it is popular defense against evil spirits. Another interpretation gives a more moral explanation, saying that it recalls the sadness of the Temple’s destruction in moments of joy. Among some Sephardis, the cup is smashed with wine in it as a sign of plenty. Related to such gestures of good omen, or mazel tov, it is customary to perform weddings at nightfall in view of the stars (which symbolize the divine promise to Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars), and on Tuesday (because of the double repetition in the biblical creation account of the phrase "and God saw that it was good" on that day). In certain periods associated with death or unfulfillment, marriages may not be performed.

It is considered a special mitzvah to praise the bride and entertain the room. A whole repertoire of how one should dance before the bride and of the mirthful or mocking songs are part of the rich tradition linked to the event. In strictly traditional groups the dancing is performed by males and females in separate groups, and the bridegroom and bride are each hoisted up on chairs as the guests whirl roundabout. It is also customary to extend these festivities over along period of time after the wedding day. Thus friends in different locales may invite the couple to a joyous reception where the seven blessings of the marriage ceremony are recited by honored guests. Torah teachings are given, and the mitzvah "to make the bridegroom rejoice in his bride" is fulfilled. Since the covenant at Sinai was imagined by the ancient rabbis as a wedding between God and Israel, with the Torah as the ketubbah and Moses the "go-between," a deeper theological background is conveyed by the marriage occasion. The mystical understanding of the unity of male and female as symbolic of deper divine and cosmic harmonies adds to the aura of the event.




Copyright © 1987 by Michael Fishbane

From Religious Traditions of the World, edited by H. Byron Earhart (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1993). Used by arrangement with HarperSanFrancisco, a division of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.